SO THE OTHER DAY I sat down to write. I’ve been sitting down, trying to write and finish my book, over the last few months. It was done, and I had written the last word on the early morning December 15th, 2017. That was the day that Sean died.
AFTER THAT, I let a few others read the story, and started adding a few more changes. Not changing, really, but adding to the overall story. I’ve been writing, off and on, over the course of 2018. Not nearly as much as I should, but still doing what I can to polish off the rest of the novel.
IT’S BEEN DIFFICULT to write and concentrate lately, though. A lot has gone on this year. My mind is also freaking weary and drained by life in general. Social anxiety. Depression. They’re taking their toll on me. Maybe I’m just getting old. But, also, taking care of three crazy babies is exhausting. And I started home schooling my daughter recently, too, so things have become more tiring. I do find time to write and draw, though. I’m determined to finish. I’ve taken way too long to write this story… Too long. This will be my life’s work. I’m anxious to see where this goes.
THE OTHER NIGHT, I was writing a chapter. One of the final chapters in the story. When Rel is at her lowest and she must make a decision. I was looking for a sad song. A song that would elicit a very emotional response, to set the tone.
YOU SEE, when I write, I write to music. I try to find a song that resonates with what is going on in the chapter. Kind of like theme music. It helps me visualize the action, and sets the mood for the words and the story I want to write.
I LISTENED TO A FEW songs on YouTube, but most of them had an almost upbeat, fun loving sound. I wanted something instrumental. And in my search, I found a song called Suicide Note-(Free) *SAD* XXXTENTACION Type Piano Song on the Youtube channel, Jurrivh. For the chapter that I was writing, this song was perfect. He has some very beautiful work. I plan to listen to more of his stuff, as I continue to write.
FOR ANY OF THOSE INTERESTED, here’s a few excerpts from the chapter. I guess listen to the song for full effect. Maybe it’ll help envision what I hoped to convey?
Rel felt dizzy, body tossed and thrown out into night, portal flashing away, leaving her in silence. She hit the ground of some unknown world, body flung into rocks and stone. She slid, still covered in ink, rocks scratching into her body before she glided to an agonizing halt.
Her fingers tingled. Her nostrils burned. There was an uncontrollable ache in her gut, radiating to every limb, every thought. Consuming. Real. Horrible. It was an agony she could never describe, a pain she would never want to admit. But it was there, and as she laid motionless in the night, she cried. For how long she was never certain, but she cried till every tear fell.
Rel Rel hunched, curling her legs into her chest. Alone. She hadn’t known this kind of pain since her mother passed away, though this moment was both physical and emotional. She was helpless and useless then, and she was helpless and useless now as she did nothing to save Adan. The moment was a whirlwind. She made a mistake. There was nothing she could have done. She knew that. Against a howlafold, against a realm of unfamiliar thought and reason, how could she possibly contend?
Rel didn’t know where to go, or what to do. For the first time, in a long time, the loneliness was unbearable. And the quiet. She didn’t realize till her mind had cleared, but it was quiet. Unsettling so. There was not a single sound. Not a chirp of birds, the howl of wind, or the shuffling of creatures in the shadows. Nothing.
And it was unbelievably dark. Too dark to see. Too dark to travel. Dark, thicker and lonelier than any night she had ever experienced. She could barely make out the silhouette of her fingers as she passed them across her eyes.
AND FOR THOSE FURTHER INTERESTED in taking a look of the overall story I plan to post the first 6 chapters of the book in an attempt to find beta readers, as I polish off the rest of Hand of Rel. I’m moving into the final phases, and I’m hoping to start looking for agents, publishers, and all that. Shoot me an email if you’d like to beta read a part of the book. I’d really appreciate it.
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THANKS SO MUCH for reading, welcome welcome, and take care my friends. Also, be sure to like, subscribe, and share this post with everyone you know and love 😉 YOU ROCK~!