I THINK I’VE all but given up on keeping up with Inktober XD I am so behind. As I’ve said before, I still plan to plug away at it, but I doubt I’ll make up all the days by the end of October. Ah well! Show must go on and all that. Anywho, here is mo’ fuggin Day 9, Rel Rel at age 19!
HERE IS THE original sketch:
AND HERE IS Inktober Day 9:
I HAD PLANNED to ink the cape and wanted to add a few more layers of black. But then I figured, fug it, I’m done! Time to move on to the next Inktober. All in all, I’m happy with how it turned out! May not be set with the design, but this is the general direction of how I want Rel to look like, at age 19! The idea is she cross-dresses as a guy, to hide her identity, so I was going for a kind of tomeboyish look? Ya get me? Yeah!
OH BOY, OKAY so I’ve haven’t posted in the last week or so. Inktober Day 8 was awhile ago. I just needed to get my head straight. Some days, I feel so worn out, and honestly I get to the point where I wonder what the point of it all, is? Socially. Religiously. I’ve been falling into a nihilistic world view, and just falling into depression in general… I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I’m paying for them. But I am trying to work my way up, and out. I really am. But some days? It all seems useless. Like everything I do isn’t working. I feel like it’s going nowhere, and life just keeps going. Time is too fast. And it doesn’t help that it feels like the world, the people, society, and all is spiraling out of control… What’s the point of anything existing? I’m so tired of people, society, and all the god **** rules… Everything eventually ends. It’s gone. Then, all for what? Why bother, at all, with all this nonsense in life? Gah, that’s a whole rant for another time though. That’s just where my mind is at…
BUT IT ISN’T ALL BAD. It’s hard and I lose sight of what I do have sometimes, but I do try to keep my focus on what matters. Even though my mind is usually lost in a haze of negativity and depression… My beautiful wife keeps me sane. And she’s struggling right now, too, wondering where life went, and where her place in it all is. We both feel life rushing past us and it’s scary. But we have each other. 90% of the time, my kids are running us up the f***ing wall, but they are so freaking precious. And annoying. But I love them. I also have my brother Niko, and my cousin Sahim. They help keep me sane, too. They’re amazing! I’m blessed to have them in my life. So yeah, it isn’t all bad, and as they say, it can be worse. But I’m tired… I do hope you’re doing well, though.
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